The Deaf Wife

 

A man went to see his doctor. "Doc," he said, "I

think my wife is going deaf".

The doctor gave it some thought and said, "I

need to understand the extent of the problem,

so go home and try talking to her at different

distances, from 20 feet to 10 feet, but

remember to keep your voice at the same

volume each time".

 

So the man went home and immediately

started the experiment. First, he stood 20 feet

away from his wife and said in an even voice,

"Honey, what's for dinner?" He heard no

response. He moved closer to 18 feet and tried

again.

"Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no answer. He

inched closer still.

15 feet. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Nothing.

10 feet. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Silence.

Finally, the man came and stood directly

behind his wife and asked in a clear voice,

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

 

His wife turned away from the sink and glared

at her husband. "Like I told you four times

already, we're having chicken. Are you deaf?"

 

You know, I'm pretty sure if I were to ask you

what is wrong with our society, you would be

able to give some pretty insightful and honest

answers about our lack of priorities, our

absence of accountability, the erosion of our

values, Corruption and the energy (nepa)wahala

the failure of our systems… all the correct and

proper diagnoses for our problems.

I'm sure if I asked you why you've been in the

same job for fifteen years without any

advancement, you would correctly detail the

new (bad ) management the plot your boss has

hatched against you, coupled with the

discrimination you have been battling in the

workplace.

 

It wouldn't surprise me if you knew exactly who

was keeping you from achieving your dreams.

Your thoughtless husband, your unsupportive

wife, your needy children… or maybe it's the

old Grandma back in the village. These are the

wicked, unfeeling, selfish people who have

thwarted your progress.

 

And of course, it's the economy that has made

it impossible for you to start that business. As

for you and your business idea, you're good to

go. Just as soon as the naira stabilises, and fuel

prices come down and Boko haram comes to an

end.

 

What's my point? We are great at identifying

what is wrong with others, but we so often

either don't notice or deliberately ignore what

is wrong with our own selves. The government

should unblock our drains of debris, but

nothing on how we should stop blocking them

with our own debris. Our children must do

better at school, but we're not prepared to

spend time teaching them at home.

 

Few months ago everyone was talking about

the violence in our National assembly where

our elected members were throwing punches

Refreshingly, some of us admitted that political

parties - all of them - were responsible for the

violence we witnessed every time political

parties came together in one place. That

certainly won them some respect points from

me ( as muhammad Ali ) It also gave me a

glimmer of hope that we might turn some of

these issues around for the benefit of our

nation, because you see, the first and most

important step to repairing any problem is

admitting that you have a problem.

 

Today, let us all take a look at ourselves and

figure out what's wrong with us. Our journey to

success begins there.

My name is James Jerry Ijioma, and the problem

is never with others - it's always with me.